New Words & Phrases for 2006
I got these off my mail and some of 'em are simply brilliant. Surely, we can all relate. I need to say no more.
TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking boll*cks.
BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager, who flies in, creates a lot of noise and shit, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells, or drops something loudly in a cube farm and peoples' heads pop up over the partitions to see what's going on. (Also applies to applause from a promotion, because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children, and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids, or start a 'home business'.
STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern slang for 'beers'. e. g . "couple of britneys please".
JOHNNY NO-STARS
A young man of sub-standard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'No-Stars' comes from the badges displaying stars to show the level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a 'wonder bra'. i.e. Very impressive when viewed from outside, but actually nothing in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go "Oo! Oo! Ho! Ah! Ah! Ha!"
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people, so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners on your return.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELLA
Rhyming slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she has four butt*cks.
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers, beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the 'adminisphere' are often profoundly inappropriate, or irrelevant to the problems they where intended to resolve. This is often compounded by the dreaded 'administrivia', needless paperwork and process.
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found'. Meaning the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND
That miniscule fraction of time in which the realization dawns that you've just made a BIG mistake. (E.g. you've just hit 'reply all'.)
NEW OXFORD DICTIONARY
DEFINITIONS
BEER COAT
The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival at home after a booze cruise.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking, followed by repeat visits every fifteen minutes.
TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking boll*cks.
BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager, who flies in, creates a lot of noise and shit, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream, only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells, or drops something loudly in a cube farm and peoples' heads pop up over the partitions to see what's going on. (Also applies to applause from a promotion, because there may be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children, and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids, or start a 'home business'.
STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern slang for 'beers'. e. g . "couple of britneys please".
JOHNNY NO-STARS
A young man of sub-standard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'No-Stars' comes from the badges displaying stars to show the level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a 'wonder bra'. i.e. Very impressive when viewed from outside, but actually nothing in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go "Oo! Oo! Ho! Ah! Ah! Ha!"
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people, so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners on your return.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-pinter in your bed instead.
NELSON MANDELLA
Rhyming slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she has four butt*cks.
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers, beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the 'adminisphere' are often profoundly inappropriate, or irrelevant to the problems they where intended to resolve. This is often compounded by the dreaded 'administrivia', needless paperwork and process.
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message '404 Not Found'. Meaning the requested document could not be located.
OHNOSECOND
That miniscule fraction of time in which the realization dawns that you've just made a BIG mistake. (E.g. you've just hit 'reply all'.)
NEW OXFORD DICTIONARY
DEFINITIONS
BEER COAT
The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival at home after a booze cruise.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking, followed by repeat visits every fifteen minutes.
posted by Nik at 8:42 AM
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